South Africa has the world’s highest murder rate — 50 murders per day.

SHHHHIIIITTTT.

Actually, this is super real right now as me and the old lady are stranded in a partially functioning VW bus with dubious locks.
At an abandoned gas station.
In a city with one of the highest rates of unemployment and incredible illiteracy.

SSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTT.

But this is a story for another time. I have to stay to some kind of narrative timeline here and I wanted to talk about crime and killing people and all that mushy stuff.

Shoot to Kill

Different kind of shot, same result.

Crime here is so bad that South African police have a sort-of unofficial “Shoot to Kill” policy. This is easy to situation to sensationalize and soapbox over, so fuck that. Let’s just say that the criminal procedures code prevented police from using deadly force except when necessary. But you get this: “When criminals are cornered, they take out guns. They don’t warn, they kill, and many police have died as a result of that.” So they decided to push through legislation in the opposite direction.

Put more bluntly, “Shoot the bastards.” (Both quotes SA Deputy Police Minister).

The world doesn’t tell us what we want WE TELL THE WORLD.

I’m an O.G. Check Season 3. Better yet, watch Saigon: Arrival if you need to catch up.

Now why is old-news like me posting alongside the new voices of Jet Set Zero?

Here’s what’s going on:

BAM! I was a cast member for seasons 1-3 (plus the bonus season 4 ((you have to watch season 3 to the 25’34″ mark and the secret season starts)) )

BAM! I’ve been lurking for exactly one year TODAY. (Or some day, I forgot to look at the date when I left Istanbul, but what does it matter, close enough.)

BAABAM! I’m taking off again for the wide world after a year of modest and in-almost-every-way ordinary living. I think it’s time Jet Set Zero went to…

BBBBBAAAAAAMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SOUTHAFRICAMOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

…And Mozambique. And probably MalawiZambiaZimbabweBotswanaNamibia-land. That is, Southern Africa.

My favorite Google Image result for South Africa. Will I too be caught dancing naked in a river with a lioness? No promises, but I'll do my best.

Question! How is this Jet Set Zero??

Answer! It’s a reach-around from Futureyou that decided today was worth the risk and sent a postcard from Zanzibar saying “wish you were here, pussy”.

Question! How is this NOT Jet Set Zero??

Answer! Well, I’m glad you asked.

1! I will not be in the same place for 90 days. Unless you count the southern third of the second-largest continent in the world as “one place”.

2! I will not work in the local economy. Far from it. I will be working remote the whole time for a company in the US. Cheating? Maybe. But I think you might want to know how I did it. And I’ll tell you if you lose the attitude.

3! I’m not going with a bunch of dudes, like the old days. My travel companion is a gorgeous, six-foot-tall Brazilian goddess with an unquenchable lust for life, string bikinis and 8 bottles of hair-care products.

I missed you Jetsetters and I’m glad to be broadcasting again. But this is a complicated story, just like all of them, and I want you to call me out if things don’t make sense.

I look forward to sharing this with you guys. Hope you follow.

-Rob