“You can settle down later, but I hope you never do. ”

-Carl Voigt, USC professor who changed my life

“Is it okay to walk down to the intersection?”
“Do you want to get robbed?”

-Felix our security guard, at 8pm on a Sunday night

“Why do I waste any time not living the life I’ve imagined?”

-Christine from Boston, reflecting on Thoreau’s advice to ‘Live the life you’ve imagined.’

“Who does this chair think he is?”

-Ryan, trying unsuccessfully to sit down for lunch

“And girls just chase me and I’m like, Oh not right now, and they’re like, Oh it’s all right. And I just moonwalk out of there and everyone’s like, Yeaaahhh. And I picture my shoes like roller skates and they have ball bearings on the bottom and everyone else is walking, and I’m just rolling down the street like, Yeaaahhh..”

-Ryan, describing the rest of his perfect day

“This is when I walk out the door and the sun starts smiling at me and says, Oh Ryan, you’re gonna have a great day. And the flowers start waving and say, Oh you’re gonna have a great day Ryan! And then I walk down the street and someone’s getting mugged and they just say, Oh you’re gonna have a great day Ryan, and they give me their money. And people are getting in car accidents and they’re like, Yeaaaahhh even though they’re getting hurt, but they’re like, Oh do you need a ride? ”

-Ryan, describing the start of his perfect day

“This is why I have to jump gringos.”

-Street kid grumbling in Spanish after we wouldn’t give him money for cigarettes

“Quebec dude and trannies arguing outside? Don’t hear anything. Maybe the trannies won.”

-Response to noises from outside the apartment

“Is it weird that when I cry mascara runs down my face and I don’t even wear it?”

-Ryan, listening to “I Hurt Myself” by Johnny Cash

“I’ve got a rutabaga in my pants.”

-Anonymous