I had a release.

Whether or not anyone else wants to admit it, this group endeavor hasn’t been a group endeavor for a while now and I’ve finally accepted that and released myself from expecting and attempting to make that happen.

The Truth:

1. One of us is leaving the entire production to go back home;
2. the other refuses to communicate openly even about important group decisions, and;
3. the other has quit his job with no other recourse.

Every one of these decisions makes the rest of the show – and life living together – more difficult and uncertain. It’s one thing to embrace uncertainty, it’s a completely other thing to create it to the detriment of others and your own well-being. That is called being irresponsible.

My Truth:

My life in Thailand is awesome! Those problems, as much as they might make life a little more difficult, are not my own. I’m not escaping to or from anything, I don’t wear my travel experiences as some badge of honor, I don’t complain about this gift I’ve been given, and I know how to responsibly live with others and respectfully integrate with other cultures. This isn’t me boasting, this just is. So I’ve released any expectations from anyone, any effort to help anyone, or desire to include anyone because whenever I do I get disappointed, dismissed, or unappreciated. Not anymore. Naturally, this release is beautiful. Opening the doors to fully experience what I set out for: peace, beauty, love, and joy, unfettered by anyone else’s issues.

So, onwards and upwards, ladies and vagabonds! I’ll be dancing this off, earning my living, doing what we all signed up to do. I’ll live with integrity and continue loving Thailand and all it has to offer because that collective experience I had hoped for is not in this house we all share, but out there in the world and I don’t need to rely on anyone to find the joy, the peace, the love or the beauty therein.

To life!

In the past four weeks Perrin and I have lived in five cities and visited a new destination every weekend.  When we move so rapidly, it’s surprisingly easy to fail at life sometimes.  To spare future travelers some grief, we decided to share some of our low moments and make a few recommendations.

1. Buy a train ticket

There is an honor system in place and on short, regional train rides and conductors rarely check your ticket.  If you DO get caught without a ticket there is a  50 fine and you can get booted off.

On our trip from Verona to Roccafranca we didn’t buy the 6 Euro ticket.  We hadn’t seen a train conductor in five rides so, being budget travelers, we took our chances.  About four minutes into the trip we spotted the conductor approaching us with his ticket puncher at the ready.  Instead of forking over cash we bolted for the bathroom with urgency I usually reserve for dashing for a last piece of Napoli pizza.  We locked ourselves in the 3ft x 4ft stall for the remaining 35 minutes.  A fellow ticket evader kept pounding on the door pleading to be let in but we selfishly hogged our space and brainstormed excuses for being ticketless.  Needless to say, we splurge on tickets now.

Tucked away in the tiny (and rank) train bathroom, Perrin and I contemplate escape out the window.

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