There’s something that’s been going on in this house that no one wants talk about. Even though it’s become painfully obvious to everyone including myself, no one seems to be able to verbalize this very real issue that ultimately has affected us all. Let me preface this first by saying that my intent is not to be a rude or vulgar person. But, in the midst of all that has recently gone on in our group there is something that I now know we are all guilty of.

So here’s the situation. I’m going to lay it all out there for you so no one has to wonder what’s really going on in this house. We ran out of toilet paper a few days back and even though the bathroom has been receiving a steady stream of repeat customers, no one seems to be that concerned about it. Which can only really mean one thing. We’ve all been doing it. We’ve all been using the Ass Hose. We’ve all been using the ass hose no one wants to talk about it! But you probably don’t know what an ass hose is do you? Well let me fill you in…

The ass hose, casually referred to as “The Bum Gun,” is a simple device that southeast Asia invented in an attempt replace toilet paper. While the jury’s still out as to the devices standard level of hygiene and effectiveness, it’s quite popular in Thailand none-the-less. We had joked about the ass hose in the beginning. “Ahahaha…The Thais are out of their minds. They must be crazy if they think I’m ever touching that thing.” Ok, yeah, laugh it up buddy. Little did we know that the ass hose always gets the final laugh.

Like I said, we ran out of toilet paper a few days ago.

Sigh...

Our BRILLIANT new home in Thailand! (Or should I say new new home. Details coming soon in video form.)

Includes:

• Two houses (yes, two separate houses!)
• 3 bathroom, 3 bedrooms
• TV, breakfast nook, air conditioner, internet
• And two of the sweetest, warmest landlords ever! (PS: what’s with Asian Mama’s always wanting to feed me? Shoo… I aint complainin’)

Cost:

• $227.00 a month! (split 6 ways.)
• Nice.

There are essentially two options for longer term lodging in Saigon.  The first is to rent an apartment.  I had done some preliminary searches for apartments and they were a bit over what we had budgeted per month to spend on accommodation (max $200/month).  I checked online, on Couchsurfing and even Facebook groups – many people were looking for roommates and offering apartments and suites, but for too much.   Also, we got burned at our apartment in Istanbul where the bitch of a landlord would only give us back half of the substantial deposit we put down because she claimed we had not cleaned enough and there was water damage (you’ll have to trust me that we SHOULD have received every penny back).  So with that fresh in our minds, we went with option two.

You can get pretty good deals at some of the guesthouses if you tell them that you will be staying for a few months.  We decided to take this approach and found one very central in District 1 that could house us comfortable and affordably.  We are paying US$6 per person, per night ($180/month), it has A/C, Wifi and hot water, and they even come and clean the rooms every day.  So although we will be without a kitchen or communal area, compare that to the rent you pay every month and you will realize how cheap things can be here.

The two rooms are bright, spacious and have their own balconies looking out onto Bui Vien Street (although as Serene mentioned earlier, it’s more “interesting” than scenic).  If you know Saigon, we’re half a block away from Go2 and the Crazy Buffalo.  The staff here are also really nice.  We could probably save a bit if we continued to look and went further away from District 1, but we like it here and the price is right.

Here are some shots of where we will call home for the next 3 months:

One of the two rooms we are staying in, sleeping three. There's a balcony and two bathrooms in this one.

Our bathroom. Pretty standard for a guesthouse. No actual bathtub, just a drain in the floor.

The Hai Ha Hotel, our home for the next 3 or so months.

Kiralik: for rent.

We were actually out that day to find jobs, walking merrily from our digs at the time with CouchSurfing buddy Kerem toward Sultanahmet. The walk was pretty long, and before we knew it, we’d stumbled into an interesting, but completely non-touristic part of the city, called Beşiktaş. Walking through the back alleys, we noticed a local real estate office (peppered liberally throughout all neighborhoods of Istanbul) with an attractive ad in the window. 4 + 1, YTL 2,000 per month. We wanted to see the place on a whim. We walked away with an apartment.

It is worth noting, as a side-story, that we went to another agency two doors down. The lovely real estate agent showed us an apartment a little reminiscent of an old woman’s forest hovel, complete with poorly maintained antique furniture, porcelain figurines and exactly one bed for 6 people (everyone else would have slept on couches). Thank God we passed on the place, because the next apartment we found was suitable for Jesus himself.

First place came complete with an old Turkish lady.

The second place we looked at struck us at first sight as perfect. For the same amount of money, we would get three times the space. After touring the place and deciding that we pretty much had to live there, we had to negotiate. They started by asking for 2,250 YTL per month, upped it to 2,500 YTL when we told them about the three month lease. Add to this a 12% commission for the real estate agent (amounting to a negotiable YTL 2,500), and one month’s deposit and we’re talking about around $6,000 out of pocket. Basically not an option.

So we negotiated the price back down to YTL 2,000, and cut the commission to a bearable YTL 800, signed the lease and walked away, no longer homeless.

A view of Ayasofia from the balcony.

We’re bringing you the second installment of our famous “Cribs” series, once again focusing on the Minh guest house. This episode showcases not only our luxurious accommodations, but also the dysfunctional relationship between Matt and myself. Enjoy.

We’ve got a look back at what life used to be like in Vietnam.  A short glimpse into what it was like to live in Ho Chi Minh, and our home there.  Housing in Vietnam had its own style, but one things for sure – it was cheaper than Tokyo.

Couch in search of a good home.