I found myself asking this exact question this week.

I’ve been working a ton which has directly contributed to this burnt out feeling. My hours at school have increased so now I have five permanent classes and I’ve been substituting as well. At home, I average a 60 hour work week so I’m no slouch to hard work but 40 hours a week here feels like an eternity. Part of this is that I haven’t mastered the whole “teaching” thing (hopefully soon), so I still need to do some preparation for my classes, and the actual teaching does not come naturally yet. Another reason is that I have to commute by  motorbike quite a distance (1 1/2 hour round trip) a couple days a week for a two hour class through crazy Saigon traffic. Normally this would be relaxing but because of the rush hour chaos on the streets, I do not look forward to it. And the last reason it feels longer and harder than it should is because I work every single day. Some days are only 4 hours of evening classes, but having that looming over my head throughout the morning and afternoon prevents me from being able to truly relax. It’s now been one month without a full day off.

And I’m starting to feel the effects.  That combined with a nasty head cold this week caused me to become a bit of a cranky bitch. I can feel it starting to set in – that painful “Ah crap, I have to work today” feeling. Dragging myself to work. The patience wearing thin. Wanting to curl up with a bucket of Häagen-Dazs and pretend I’m at home in my awesome condo with my awesome job and my awesome friends. But like Willard says in Apocalypse Now: “Saigon… shit; I’m still only in Saigon”.

I figure it’s just a phase. The ups and downs of traveling are often exaggerated, and this is simply the reality of doing what we do. It’s not all ponies and rainbows. I do realize that I’m doing something really awesome in a foreign country and I’m trying not to lose sight of that. I get two days off for Christmas so Serene, Jen and I are headed for the beaches of Mui Ne -hopefully that will reinvigorate me. But sometimes a gruelling 9 hour teaching day makes me seriously consider what the hell I’m doing here.