I’m not sure this is what I wanted.  After what was one of the hardest days of my life and a good two days of traveling, I finally reached my home town of Calhoun, Louisiana. As I am typing this blog, I will admit that the tears are steadily running down my face. Two days ago, I left Chiang Mai, Thailand for home. What hurt the most was saying goodbye to my amazing friends. Over the past four months I really grew to love those guys. I created a bond with them, a bond like I never had before. It kills me to leave that behind. This friendship just ignites the fire inside of me to keep going on. I made a promise to my friends that I would be back in June and we will pick up where we left off! My word is as good as gold! I love you guys.

Well it’s that time of the year again. The time to reflect on the past year and prepare myself for the year to come. This year was unlike any other for me, and it was definitely a turning point in my life. So here goes:

Top 3 Places

1. San Diego, California

2. L.A. California

3. Thailand

Events

1. Roadtrip to California.

2. Loi Krathong (Chiang Mai, Thailand)

3. Taking off of the runway in L.A.

4. Getting in touch with my spirituality.

People that changed my life (had to list 10 for this one)

1. Evita Robinson- for making me realize what a strong person I was.

2. Jean-Pierre Chery- for being a big brother to me.

3. Tyler Batson- for opening my eyes to the world around me.

4. Bogdan Tiflinsky- For making me realize that cameramen have souls too. And becoming a part of my family.

5. Evan Engel- Same as Bogdan. Can’t wait for you guys to come to the Bayous.

6. Nui, Black, Tor, Mint- for showing me what real friends are.

7. Nora Godkin- for bringing out the animal in me!

8. Benz and Meang- for being awesome friends that I will never forget.

9. Ying- for being my big sister and friend!

10. Thai mom and dad- for bringing us into their lives, and treating us like their children.

11. Cameron and Kanako- For being my partners in crime.

12. Last but not least, Mom and Dad for supporting me along the way.

Most Memorable Moments (Needed 4 for this one)

1. Loi Krathong (Chiang Mai, Thailand)

2. Showering in the waterfall (Chiang Mai, Thailand)

3. Caressing a tiger while it slept (Chiang Mai, Thailand)

4. Jet Set Zero

Successes

1. Getting out of Calhoun, Louisiana.

2. Making a group of true friends. Ones  I will never forget.

3. Finding happiness.

This year was a major milestone in my life. I have been blessed with so many great things. I know that 2011 will be a year filled with many more adventures. 2010 was just the beginning.

While Jet Set Zero is coming to an end and we will finish filming this month, this is just the beginning for me. Loi Krathong sparked something inside of me. It put my entire life into perspective. I have come such a long way (literally and emotionally). I have grown so much as a person on this journey. I’ve learned things about myself that I would have never known if I wouldn’t have taken that leap of faith. Before this journey I will admit that I was at rock bottom. I had no direction, no motivation, living in a state of depression to say the least. I will admit that I cried every other day, if not every day back home. (Yes I cry.. Okay) Now the tears that come out of my eyes are tears of joy. I’ve learned how to be happy again. So, while this is the end of Jet Set Zero, I am here to announce that I will be calling Chiang Mai, Thailand my temporary home. I’ve made a life for myself here, a family, a group of friends (genuine friends). I’ve found something I couldn’t find back in Calhoun, Louisiana (Happiness). While I do miss my family so much, I feel that this is the right move for me right now. I’ve learned so much from everyone here and I am sure they have learned from me in return. So I feel it would be unfair to myself and my friends I have made here to leave so soon. We have so much more to learn from each other.

Time is winding down for us here in Thailand. It’s been three long months and God we have come a long way. Looking back to the very beginning it just amazes me how far I’ve come as a person and how much I have learned. Although it’s been three months, I still catch myself thinking “Oh wow I’m in Thailand”, it doesn’t get any less amazing.  So since our time is winding down here, Thai mom and dad decided to throw us a going away party. They invited our neighbor Blah and their daughter Kathir to join us. The night was to say the least, “AWESOME”.  It’s amazing how we can all be brought together over a Korean BBQ. For the first time in a long time I felt that we all connected in a new way last night. I don’t know if it was because we realized that we are leaving soon and we all want to leave on the best terms possible, or if it is just the fact that we have been through this together and out of it we have become a family. Needless to say, I loved it. To top off an awesome night, we set off some fireworks and stood around in a group hugging Thai mom and dad and watching the sky light up.  It was the perfect end to the perfect night.

The one thing I’ve been looking forward to the most since I’ve been in Thailand is Loi Krathong! Loi Krathong is a festival  celebrated annually throughout Thailand, it is held on the full moon of the 12th month in the traditional Thai lunar calendar. In the western calendar this usually falls in November. In Thai “Loi” means to float and “Krathong” is a circular floating object decorated with banana leaves, flowers, a candle, and incense.  The Krathong is sent down a river, (The Ping River in Chiang Mai’s case) which symbolizes apologies to the river for all human kind has done to it. And also on Loi Krathong lanterns are set adrift in the sky, thousands of them. The night sky is dotted with these beautiful lanterns sent up to rid ones self from misfortune. I’ve been looking forward to this festival for some time now and it is finally approaching . This is just what I needed, an opportunity to cleanse my spirit and start over new.

The first day in Thailand. Looking back is so crazy. We have come a long way!

Yesterday was the hardest day I have had in Thailand so far, and I’ve had some pretty rough days here.  I’ve spent almost 36 hours without food and it still has nothing on yesterday. Last night one of our cast mates loaded on a jet and headed back to her life in New York City. Evita was an awesome travel companion, and what made it so tough to watch her leave was that we had become so close over the last couple of weeks. The night before her departure we lived it up, we stayed out until three in the morning drinking and having a good time bonding. The house has definitely gotten a lot quieter since she has been gone, and NO thats not a good thing, I miss her laugh! She was my sanity here. She was like my mother figure, I could vent to her when I needed to and she would take it all in and give me that extra boost I needed. She is a genuine loyal person and has one of the biggest hearts I have ever encountered. I learned so much from her in such a short period of time, and for that I am thankful. So… Dear Evita, if you read this, I am so honored that I got the chance to meet you. I can honestly say that you have made your mark in my life. I know that I will leave this experience with a true friend. And to be honest with you, I never knew what that was until now. Thank you so much for everything you’ve done. I love you!

I fought with a stranger and I met myself, I opened my mouth and I heard myself. It can get pretty lonely when you show yourself. I guess I could've made it easier on myself, but I could never follow.

“My friends from high school married their high school girlfriends, moved in to houses in the same zip codes where their parents lived, but I could never follow.” These lyrics describe my life perfectly. Destined to write my life story my own way, I’ve never been one to have an outline, and I definitely wasn’t born with an infrastructure. Truth be told I’m an unorganized mess. At this point in my life I’ve come to a fork in the road where I can either settle down or follow the obscure path of uncertainty. With the above being said, it is no secret that settling down isn’t in my blood. I’ve always been a dreamer, people would say “pull your head out of the clouds Jeremiah”. But, why would I ever pull my head out of the clouds when I can see the entire world from up here? I mean who ever decided that life came with a map: We graduate high school, we go to college, we find a career, we get married and settle down until it’s time to retire. I’m setting out on my own with no map and a heart full of wonder. I’m learning to marvel at the world and I am finding myself along the way. My life is a blank sheet of paper, and I’m using the world as my pencil.  Here’s to taking the long way around.

I love these people!

This weekend was by far the most enlightening weekend I have had in Thailand so far. Tyler and I got the opportunity to stay the weekend in a Karen village, thanks to some awesome new friends we have met here. The scenery on the way to the village is breath-taking. Tucked away in the mountains of Thailand and blanketed with banana trees, it honestly felt like I was living in a scene from “Pocohontas”.

'Life isn't measured by how many breaths you take, rather how many moments take your breath away". This would be one of those moments!

When we first arrived at the village we were greeted with warm smiles from all of our hosts. Peter (one of our hosts) loaded us up in a pick-up truck and took us on a tour of the whole village. We were all smiles watching the scenery pass us by. We started with a little hike to an awesome waterfall where we kicked off our shoes and got the chance to unwind. After the waterfall we loaded back up in the back of the truck and we were headed up the mountain. After riding through some amazing fields of cabbage and corn, we made it to the top of a hill and watched the sunset over the mountains. We then headed back to the village where we were welcomed back with rice whiskey. I myself am not a big drinker, but in the Karen culture it is considered rude to not except anything offered to you. So I had to suck it up and pour the whiskey down the hatch. Many more shots followed while we set Indian style on the balcony of Peters house playing the guitar and singing along to “Hotel California” and many other classic songs. A little inebriated and very tired we went to bed on the floor of the house in a row all snuggled up to one another. The next morning we were woke up by Johnny Cash serenading us on the radio and an extemely annoying rooster who seemed to find pleasure in busting our eardrums. When we eventually arose Peter came into our room with coffee…… and you guessed it Rice Whisky. First thought that came to my mind was, “You’ve got to be kidding me, its 7 a.m.” So we drank our coffee and then we each were offered two shots of the whisky, hesitantly I drank the shots and started my morning. The morning was beautiful, as the low clouds created a mist over the mountain. We headed over to Peters house where breakfast was cooking in a kettle on the floor, we again sat Indian style on the floor of Peters house with the family gathered around and we chowed down like no joke.

It was then time to head out and hit the road. Saying our last goodbyes, we loaded up in the pick-up truck once more and rode out of the village with everyone standing in their yard waving goodbye. I must admit that when I got wind that we would be staying in a village I was a little hesitant about going, but once  by the time we left the village I nearly got teary-eyed when we were saying our goodbyes. It is amazing how these people just open their homes and welcome us into their lives. Peter and his family are some of the most friendly people I have met and it was an honor to be able to see their everyday lives and get to be apart of it. This is honestly what I have been waiting for since arriving in Thailand and I really feel like I got the full experience of Thailand being in the Karen village.

My new pet

I was fortunate enough to make my way into a tigers cage and snuggle up with him… and come out with all my limbs attached. I have been wanting to do this ever since I can remember! What better place than Thailand?

Leaving your life behind is such a liberating experience, but as my new friend Evita would say, “it is a double-edge sword”.  Being the youngest and most inexperienced of the group, it was definitely challenging to say goodbye to the ones I loved. I have never been away from home for longer than two weeks, so this has been a major growing experience. I am blessed to say though, this experience has a way of making you face your fears. I have come a long way in just a month and I look forward to seeing my transformation after everything is said and done.