So we have these things called “border runs”, also known as “Visa runs”. No, no one’s got diarrhea (that I know of) and it has nothing to do with a credit card. Basically, it involves going to the nearest border, getting into the next country, and coming back. Travelers have this privilege, which often exceeds the rights of those actually living in the countries we are bordering running to. Sad, but true.

Faced with my Visa’s approaching renewal date, I decided to make this obligation into an adventure. (First, let me preface this with some advice: never engage in adventuring or border crossing hungover.)

So the day before this adventure it was Halloween (see where I’m going with this?) and, dressed as a panda, I think I drank more than I have in the past 6 months, which for me is 2.5 drinks apparently, but for Panda that was obscene. Let’s just say that when people buy you drinks of their own volition flattery begins to outweigh good judgement.

Anyhoo… I got hooked up by my local travel agent lady here in Chiang Mai. The day before I was to leave she let me pay the standard Visa run bus ticket price, but she also threw in:

• A visit to The White Temple;
• a natural hot spring;
• an Akha village;
• The Golden Triangle slow boat ride to Laos, and;
• a buffet lunch

… all for free. So with about 1 hour of sleep and eyeliner clinging to my worn-out eyes, I embarked on my adventure.

The White Temple was probably the least holy temple I’ve seen so far – unless you consider a mural with images of the devil, Spiderman, and a gas pump Divine – but fuck if it wasn’t cool! Built only 12 years ago, it was clear that the Thai gentleman that commissioned it wanted to show off while earning some grade-A karma at the same time. Mission: accomplished. People actually take pictures with a cardboard cut-out of this man while the temple interior remains empty. Thirty minutes and 2 liters of water later I’m realizing just how badly I need sunglasses.

Back on the bus and I knock out! I think I even dreamed of sleeping. Even my subconscious was exhausted. The next memorable destination was Laos. We arrived by slow boat, gliding down the Mehkong River dividing Burma, Thailand, and Laos and headed straight into a tourist trap of cheap souvenirs and food. And I totally bought stuff. And drank. Technically, this was a “it’s part of the experience” beverage, meaning it included such refreshments as:

• Turtle whiskey
• Scorpion whiskey
• Tiger penis whiskey (WTF?)
• King Cobra whiskey
• Gecko whiskey

…all animals dead and floating in a vat of their supposed co-creations. Opting to not drink a penis that day, I had my favorite animal, the King Cobra whiskey. It had a bit of bite to it, not gonna lie, and it may have knocked my subconscious out for good.

Getting my Visa was no trouble. Two more months in Thailand so I’m good to go and can now say that I’ve been in 3 countries in 1 day. When that would come up in conversation, I do not know, but hey: “It’s part of the experience!”

My favorite place, however, was the Akha village. The Akha are a hilltribe here in Thailand and as soon as we were guided into their village I saw two little girls playing. I kneeled down and starting playing with them, tickling them and pretending to take the little flowers they were picking out of their hands. Their laughter was contagious and, as the sun was setting, the first I had uttered the whole day. They acted almost of though they knew nothing else of the squalor we perceive them as living in or the pain assumed of not having any shoes to wear. As I was tickling them and getting ready to move on with the group, one of the little girls threw her arms around me and gave me the sweetest hug ever, almost as a tacit “thank you”. The kindness and beauty of a child’ love was worth every effort made to get there.

I believe we can all learn so much from children and that little girl taught me that nothing, not a hallmark holiday or the flattery of a new friend, can compare to the innocent, endearing, fun-loving nature of a child.