Sometimes it’s just guns.

Kidding.

Kind of.

The hunt is on for a job in Quito. After applying for a mysterious Magician’s Assistant post found under Quito’s Craigslist, I sat back and tried to work some mental magic and will the magician to respond. Laurene and Freddie have both gotten jobs teaching English, but try as I might, I couldn’t motivate myself to apply for teaching jobs. We recently met a bartender who had partied with Guns N Roses when they played in Quito recently, and I had seen some places who were hiring bartenders. Except I don’t know how to tend bar. Right.

Rabbits out of hats, Getting sawed in half = I'm in!

My day had started out pretty good- I slept until noon since I have become an insomniac since living here (along with half of our apartment) and have trouble falling asleep before 2 or 3am. My recent obsession has been researching shamans in the Amazon and contemplating going to live in the jungle to learn from them. Other than that, I had lunch with a new friend who took me to a local hotspot for wealthy Quitenos and we feasted on the Ecuadorian version of sushi. Things were looking up.

I’d been dragging my heels about going to Laurene’s school to meet her boss – a position opened up at her school to teach some evening classes at $4/hr. But for whatever reason, the thought of teaching for a few bucks an hour made me cringe, even though it would actually be enough to live on.

What really made me hesitate was imagining spending another two full months in Quito, choking on the pollution and constantly watching my back. But I bit the bullet and went looking for Laurene’s school at dusk, couldn’t find it because it was so far, and felt the whole time like I was going to get mugged. I hated the feeling of having to be hyper aware and suspicious of everyone that passed me. It started to sprinkle – naturally – so I finally called her and she gave me directions. But after a few more minutes, I just gave up and decided to retrace my steps back to the apartment.

I had walked farther than I thought and it was now dark. Walking alone in the dark is a big no-no here. I made my way to the grocery store near our apartment and spent $7 on ingredients to bake a chocolate cake, which I had been craving ever since Laurene made one for Freddie’s birthday. Spending seven dollars bummed me out even more though, since that’s the equivalent of 4 meals here and I clearly don’t have a source of income at this point.

After wandering fruitlessly in the dark, glaring at every stranger who passed with a “Don’t Mug Me” stare, and spending money I don’t have to make a cake, I couldn’t get my apartment key to work in the gate because it takes both hands and an intermediate level of coordination. Plus the overhead light is on a sensor and turns off after 3 seconds, so I’m fumbling with my key in the pitch black darkness with my arms full of eggs and groceries, cursing my non-luck. The key wasn’t cooperating and I couldn’t see anything so I was trying to picture the lock in my mind’s eye and mentally beseech it to open. Again my mental magic wasn’t working and I stood there in the dark struggling for several minutes.

The light that leaves you in the dark

It all kind of added up to one of those screaming-into-the-pillow moments. In fact I did consider screaming just to make myself feel better, but then I figured my neighbors would likely think I was being mugged, so I swallowed my angst. It occurred to me to be annoyed that I hadn’t bought more ice cream but since I had finished my last tub of ice cream within 2 days, I was trying to wait until next week to buy a new one. I eat grilled cheese sandwiches every single day (sometimes twice a day), put butter on everything I eat without fail, and eat ice cream by the tub, so it’s only a matter of time before I balloon.

I made the cake disappear!

The upside is that maybe the magician – if he ever calls – will teach me how to make the would-be muggers, exhaust-spewing buses, and extra pounds vanish into thin air.