As Brian explained, New Years in Tokyo was more quaint than crazy, and the entire holiday season wrapped up for us without a show of fireworks, real or metaphoric.  We definitely had fun times together, and those fun times definitely coincided with major holidays we’ve celebrated before, and there was something vaguely holiday-ish about those fun times, but trying to piece it all today into a coherent “holiday season” feels like trying to remember a hazy dream from a deep nap. 

Nonetheless, Tokyo continues to offer its unique brand of the quirky and random, and I thought we’d share some of the wisdom this city so far has given us.  Most of this wisdom has come in the form of signs and advertisements, giving us guidance, helpful advice, and food for thought. 

This message is clearly intended to preserve the peace and cleanliness of the subways.  No warning that such excessive drunkenness – a spilled beer, a stray shoe, a leg hanging awkwardly over the armrest – is self-destructive and detrimental health.  The briefcase, unceremoniously serving as a pillow, also suggests that the passed-out gentleman went straight from work to the bars.  Clearly, he should have thought of the other passengers, especially the poor man turned away in empathetic shame, and gone straight home to drink himself into oblivion.  Usually we say “When in Rome…” but I think in this case we should exercise a little more judgment before obeying the subway sign…

This one is more or less agreeable – who shouldn’t…do! more safety…?!?  The message sounds great – perhaps a candidate motto for 2009 for some people – but what on earth does it mean?  And what kind of safety should we do?  The young smiling girl certainly doesn’t offer any clues, nor does the disorienting corridor of insistent messages.  Are those lockers?  It’s quite mysterious, but we think this is a message we should all heed…

And finally, one of my personal favorites, overlooking a main strip in Shibuya, an imposing reminder to us all…

Once again, this is a message we can all get on board with.  But why is there a massive picture of a gorgeous woman?  She doesn’t quite seem sad or stern, and at first, we’re not really sure what she has to do with stopping STD’s.  Also, there’s no direct mention of a *method* for stopping STD’s – birth control, condoms, abstinence, regular testing?  Then, at the bottom, we find the sponsoring company, Soft On Demand.  As it turns out, it’s a pornography company, and you can scan the QR code on the bottom left to visit their website and order yourself some DVD’s.  Absolutely brilliant – once I pieced the implied message together, I found myself astounded that I haven’t seen this argument before.  So you rambunctious young adults, next time you feel like putting public health at risk by giving into your sexual urges, do the right thing – order pornography.  You and your partner, should s/he actually exist, will benefit from reduced exposure to dangerous STD’s.  [Soft On Demand is a staunch supporter of safe, do-it-yourself methods of dealing with your desires.  Note: clearly, no STD’s were possibly transmitted in the production of these films.] 

Well Tokyo, thanks for these helpful pieces of advice.  We’ll be sure to share some more precious wisdom from the strange signs all around Tokyo.